5 Warning Signs You Aren’t Psychologically Prepared for Retirement

I consider retirement my new career. First, join a local gym. Not one of the national chains, but one local. If you own a house there is always something to be fixed. Hopefully you have some basic handy man skills. Got any hobbies? Want to volunteer, learn a musical instrument? If you delegated everything out, you might not have any skills to convert over to retirement.

Sorry, none of those apply to me. I retired 10 years ago and have never been happier. I am busy all the time and don't know how I possibly got anything done when I was working. I have all the time in the world to do the things I enjoy in life. I have had friends who were afraid to retire and the main reason for that was because they had no outside interests or hobbies. Believe me, there are plenty of fun things to do out there!

My advice: if you can, retire the moment you are eligible. Do not hold out another year or two for a measly couple of hundred dollars more a month in your retirement check. Life is too short. I have seen many retirees not live long after retirement and I am battling my second case of cancer myself right now. Enjoy life while you can!

Just retired at the end of 2013 at 68 and I can sort of relate to this article. I really feel aimless at times. I have plenty of interests but often don't have motivation to do something. It's been a bit easier since my husband also retired end of Feb. We immediately jumped in to clean out, fix up and get on the market his dad's house. That gave me a goal, a focus. We had a cruise scheduled end of April so that was my focus once the house was done. Learning from those two events, I realized that I needed to set some specific goals to complete. So now I try to keep a project list going all the time and a goal of completing at least 2 projects each week. When school is out I have a few day trips I want to do with my grandkids. Am also contemplating taking a tax prep course and may work part time during tax season for the next few years.I'm hopeful that over the next year I'll find ways to embrace retirement.

I'm with you Mike, I have so many things to keep me busy, now wonder how I had the time to work, between the house the yard and garden there is just not enough hours in the day to do allthe things I want too, plus I need need to find the time to get started on restoring my 67 mustang, haven't looked back on leaving my job after the years plus, I intend to enjoy my retirement too the max

Good contra approach!

This article really hit home with me. I was laid off from a job that I loved, along with 4 others in 2011. It was just before my 58th birthday. The job was mentally stimulating and I worked with a nice group of professional people. Prior to that I worked for 18 years in R&D for a huge food company. That job was the best ever but they decided to move and consolidate operations and I was laid off from that job. Since my last job I tried for two years to get any kind of job and discovered even though I am flexible and open minded I am a square peg not fitting into a round hole. Last year I lost my Mom, my best friend, and since have cleaned out her home and sold it. So now, I am close to 61 years old and still want to work and just can't seem to get my foot into any door. My husband wants to retire next year and he deserves it! He will be 63 and is tired of the daily grind. For him I think he will relish his freedom and will not have any issues but I am another story. I was laid off from two of the best jobs ever and had to leave before I was ready. I think mentally if you are ready to go then you will flourish. If your work life has been taken away from you before you are ready then you will have issues. My Dad retired at 62 and Mom still worked. He started to get very crabby with her and he started to worry about money. He ended up having a stroke after he was retired two years and Mom lost her job and had to care for him for two years until he passed. Everyone is different in their mental needs in a job. Some people are only there for a paycheck and they have a no strings attached attitude to their job. I always dreamed about retiring from my job but in my dreams it was going to be on my terms when I would retire. However, that didn't happen and my life has totally been thrown out of whack. I have lost my identity too. Now I don't know if I am 'retired' or 'unemployed'. I have not worked for 3 years and no longer collect unemployment so maybe I am now just a bum! LOL! I get the local Senior Center magazine every month but so far I haven't 'joined' anything. I feel too young for that! I have 3 dogs that keep me busy and the only other interests I have right now is selling some items on eBay. It is not mentally challenging enough even with the 100 items I have listed! It is not easy to be retired when you are not ready!!!!! On top of everything, we have had some major renovations on our home. We were always talking about moving to another tax friendly state but now that we had so many renovations done, not sure I want to move! Ugh, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up! LOL!

Looking back over my retirement years, I guess I have come a long way. In 2001, I was forced into early retirement from my company. They gave me a pension and some high premium med insurance. I was 52 at the time and still had a high school daughter at home. I started a second job the next day and satued there for 5 years. In the meantime, we moved back to my wife's home town in Indiana, daughter graduated from high school, wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer and survived for two years. Toward the end of her life, I had an accident that put me in a wheelchair for 3 months. After recovering, and finding myself alone, I re-examined my life at 57. I didn't need or want the corporate world anymore, so I put in my notice.

I spent time exploring who I was and what I wanted in life. Did some volunteer work, joined a gym. Then I found the ideal job...working in a golf course proshop two mornings a week. This gave me some cash and a free membership on the golf course. I still have that job.

5 years ago, I took a hobby, roasting coffee beans, and turned it into a business with another couple. In three years, I got tired of it as it was more work then I wanted then. It was profitable by then so I sold it to my partner.

Two years after my wife passed away, I started dating again, first with a nurse that had taken care of both my wife and me. After moving on, I discovered match.com and all I can say is that it was a whirlwind! I could have written a book with my experiences. After a year and a half, I did finally find the new love of my life. We have been married almost 3 years and it has been wonderful.

This coming month, I turn 65. What?! Where did it go? I remember my Dad at 65 and he was old. I am not that old!! Of all my friends, I was the firat to retire and now they are all hanging up their jobs and coming over to the dark side. I have not regretted it at all. I am always busy with something new.

I have three recent adventures in my life that keep things fresh. I discovered making cheese. It's satisfying to produce something that most people just buy. Learning a lot from that. For my last birthday my wife paid for a 5 day cruise at the end of our winter time in Florida. Oh yeah, we have turned into snowbirds for the past two years! I discovered I was born to cruise! If you really want to feel like a king, take a cruise. We have already signed up for a 8 day cruise next March and have 8 couples going along, some old friends recently retired, and some recent friends still working. That is going to be a blast!

The newest thing I have discovered that keeps me busy is mystery shopping. I have been doing it for just over a mon now and have made over $400 for doing things like eating at restaurants, getting gas, shopping at retail stores and reporting my results. It is interesting, challenging and a great way to interact with people. I also feel it is a way to help businesses become better for the consumer.

I consider myself retired three times. So was I ready for retirement? Not the first time. Almost ready the second time, and definately ready the third time. No regrets, just exciting days ahead...

Bill, so many mystery shopper ads are fake, can you share with me a contact that you work for? Just got one for a Western Union and know that is a scam. Many thanks!

What a great article. I had to stop working due to terms of disability insurance at 52. It has been very tough. I am fortunate to have some connections where I offer support to others but some days it gets very quiet. I loved work. An accident turned my life up side down. This article really puts it all into perspective. I had been hoping that a retirement community would at least put me in touch with others who had to move at a slower pace but usually the cognitive impairments put people who live in some Independent Living sites at a very different place. It is really a dilemma for non working boomers.

Start with mysteryshop.org. It is the main sight for the MSPA. From there you can list jobs in your area and sign up with many legit companies there. If you have any questions feel free to write me.

Louise, its not easy to find yourself again after these significant changes in life. While I am not working at the moment ( I am only 55 and looking for a job after relocating with my already retired husband), I find fulfillment volunteering. It is very rewarding to know that someone is waiting for me.

Retired for the past 2 1/2 years. Always something going on, or so it seems. My wife is also retired as she was forced out of her job about 3 1/2 years ago. We do some volunteer work and watch two of our grandchildren two days a week. At the end of each week, we wonder where the time went. We travel a bit and just take our time stopping when we want to "smell the roses." It's a wonderful life. We both still miss the people we worked with (or at least some of them) but are grateful we have this time together.

I'm one who, with my wife, retired early at 55. We both had really good jobs that just went bad. We had some financial exposure, but it has worked out. We both planned to go back to work part-time, but found that our interests and house upkeep needs keep us more than busy.

The difficulty with being sort of aimless or unmotivated about developing interests that keep you busy and stimulated, is that many have spent most of their lives with "others" providing the motivation. Whether that be an employer or simply a demanding job, these folks often don't have to seek out or research new activities -- they are just there. When they retire, they have no skills to "find" new interests. Several times in my active working life, I faced a similar situation. I felt locked in, bored, trapped by my job/career. The first time I needed help to find my way out. Other times afterward, I just needed to recognize my problem. That's where this advice comes from.

The first step is that you have to recognize that this "aimless" situation. Then you must start doing something to change, to drive yourself. Here are some simple options -- there are others. Make a list of your strengths AND your weaknesses (like lack of self-motivation). Make a list of what you like and what you don't like about being retired. Make a realistic list of what you can do (are able to do) whether you want to do it or not. This list should include ANYTHING! Even watching TV, taking a walk or growing a few tomatoes. What you are trying to do with these things is to find a stimulus. Spend some time doing this -- weeks or more. If you have to, make a goal of just getting the lists completed. After you feel you can't add to your lists, you can start working to develop or to eliminate either traits or tasks.

As several have said, being successful in retirement takes some work. Just sitting and feeling sorry for yourself doesn't take any effort. Start doing the small things to break the stasis and then start exploring via internet or real activity the options you found. Go interview a volunteer whether a social worker or a fire fighter. Ask at a senior center if you can help for a few hours a week. (Remember, some of us "retired" people are too old or too infirm to have the options for activity most of us "young" retirees have.)

Explore. Go places in your state or region that you haven't been or haven't been since you were truly young. Where would you go if you could choose? Too expensive? We put plastic sets of drawers in the back seat of our car to live out of day-to-day and stayed at cheap, clean hotels. Whether for a weekend or a long road trip, we found it even less expensive than camping.

In the end, it's up to you. Reach out.

Editor's comment: Rich, thanks for this wise advice. We love it! Along the same lines Next Avenue just had a series of articles about fining your purpose in retirement. Here are links to two of them, "The 3 Questions to Ask to Help You Find Your Purpose" and How to Identify the 1 Thing You Were Born to Do

Rich

Rich: I think your posting is terrific. During my 50s, I was a caregiver for my spouse who had a degenerative, terminal disease, raised our kids and worked to pay our bills. Life was all about getting through each week, supporting my kids' interests, and meeting my employer's needs. I'm now looking ahead to retirement, with spouse deceased and a newly empty nest. I've been wondering how to start to plan my upcoming retirement. I don't KNOW what my own interests are anymore, and I'll have to figure it out. Your tips are going to be very useful for me. Thank you.

Thanks, Rich; and many thanks editor, for the links. I plan to explore them with my husband.

Hi some great articles and inovations here, I am a 64 year old and soon to be retired. I had an interesting sporting life playing rugby and judo and in my less competitive days I coached, mentored and supported many young people through those sports.At the age of 55 I discovered I could sing and went to singing lessons for three years I then progressed onto am drams and musicle theatre and eventually morphed myself into a jazz and swing entertainer for the care/residential sector. I still have 9 months to go and my initial feelings are I can't wait for it to come around, there is so much to do. In some of the limited down time that I predoct we will have there are a few projects to go at in the garden and if time allows maybe a little more time spent on going on short city breaks or a cruise. It has been really helpful reading all these articles and others comments about what to do with retirement free time and my advice if I can give it is .... Get that matter going and live your life.... I intend to. All the best to everyone and happy tetirement.

I found some of this interesting and it explains how similar my feelings are with my recent retiral. I had no chance to plan anything for my leaving work. I became Ill and unfit for any kind of work situation, therefore it was medical retirement. My main activity is walking, short or long distances, carrying a camera and a picnic. Enjoying fresh air,gardening, some of this I can still do but the amounts are getting smaller as my mobility problem increases. I am not financially secure because I am 3 years under state pension age. My work pension only started within the past 5 years, so it is of no help for my future. All this is very depressing and to change will take a lot of effort on my part. So ideas from articles like these are of beneficial use to people like me in similar situations. Officially I am now classed as disabled. Two years ago I was doing 20 mile walks for fun. I plan to find the best way possible of enjoying my retirement, .

I retired last May at 69 I don't enjoy most days, my annual salary since retirement is$135000/yr but I obsess about it. I did decide to work as an Adjunct professor until I am 80 just to get me past my obsessions. I have never been so frightened in my life. I hate this situation.

Joe - Clearly you're intelligent, so apply an analytical approach to your retirement time. Write a book? Tutor on your own schedule? Catch up on reading? Discover religion/hobbies/bucket lists? At the end of the day, you may decide that being an Adjunct professor is just one of the things that you want to do to enjoy life. I was a high-pressure professional & executive, and cut my retirement income by 3/4 when I chose to retire at 65 this year. I did my budgets and decided I had enough money to enjoy life and rediscover myself even though it would mean drastically changing my spending habits. Frankly, the job pressures had increased to the point that I felt my job could cut years off my life if I worked another year or two to build my retirement nest egg. Retirement isn't 100% perfect, though. I find myself dropping "I'm a retired X" and telling some work stories so that people see the former professional, executive instead of the little old lady LOL. I'm trying to stop myself.

The first day of my Silver Sneakers exercise class the woman standing next to me said “I am a retired high school principal, what did you do?” And I thought, great, is the rest of my life going to be defined by the past? No. Am I going to have to play a new game of who’s more important? No. Frankly, my life is more interesting now that I am free of the burden of making a living and can explore everything I missed in the 9-5 rat race.

Kate, Me LOL too! Your post with a minor exception could have been written by me. I just never felt a great need to describe myself as a "retired whatever" -- just retired. I think those who have the most difficulty in retirement are those who felt defined by their job/career OR who have no plan for what to do after retirement. Replacing that "OR" with "AND" leads to a worst case. Having to learn new patterns (like budgets and lifestyle limitations) just exacerbates things. Perhaps those with the most "success" (in terms of enjoyment and vitality) are those able to redefine themselves as you suggest. An important consideration is that this redefinition must continue as each person proceeds through the changing stages of life and learns how to accept/manage the effects of aging. A partner, whether spousal unit , pet, etc. can greatly improve the chances of "success".

Joe, what exactly are you afraid of? Lack of income, being alone, being bored, being no longer in the work force?

We all suffer from each of these things in certain ways. Maybe you need to develop an exit plan to determine how you can overcome some of these hurdles. Maybe you could cut back to part time work to slowly ease out of the work force. If you are lonely, try to join some clubs that interest you. Meetups is on line and you can find like minded people to do things with that you are interested in. Same with being bored. Make a list of things you would like to do. Like going to a museum, going to a point of interest and taking pictures, hiking, eating at a new coffee shop, diner. Take a bus trip that is a sight seeing tour to different cities. Join your local historical society and find out about local history. Go to your local animal welfare and walk dogs.

I worked with this guy who as far as I know only had one job his whole life with one company. He was good at what he did but it didn't fulfill him. He stuck with it till the company closed down when he was about 63. I ran into him one day and asked if he was working or looking for employment. He just shook his head and said No, no one wanted him and that he had been institutionalized his whole life! That is how he saw his entire work life. He wouldn't leave to look for something he would have liked better and just stayed with what he knew. My point is, there is other stuff out there to enjoy. Change is scary but sometimes exhilarating too! Sometimes we all have to step outside our comfort zone. Good luck to you!

Daryl and Louse - great posts about people identifying themselves with their jobs. That was/is definitely me. I'm working hard to move happily move forward from that to discover who I will be for the next 20 years or so. Have you noticed that when we were younger, people would often inquire "what do you do?" Now that I'm over 65, nobody asks anymore but I have my answer ready: I happily read trash books on Kindle or visit the library, babysit for the first grandkid occasionally, watch the news (and jump up and down in my chair over politics), and am managing a huge construction project renovating my fixer-upper retirement home. In the Spring I hope to explore my new retirement city, join a church, get ready for a bucket list European cruise in 2020 and a trip back to my home town to visit family graves, and more. Life is good. If my 401K keeps dropping I may end up taking a bucket list trip to Denny's instead.

The first "warning sign" in the list above -Most days you have nothing special to look forward to when you wake up in the morning.- made me shake my head. I RELISH those morning that I have nothing special planned! It gives me the opportunity to be spontaneous should some last minute thing come up or better, to do little more than a walk into town or spend a few minutes on all those projects that might never get done. LOL. But everyone is different. For some, retirement might mean facing aging and some of the less positive things that might accompany it. I'm thankful to have had great role models for happy retirements and hope to be the same for younger family member, friends and former colleagues.:)

Here in the towns of Affluence and Abundance we have a lot of former kings and queens of industry wandering around Whole Foods with no kingdom left to run. I guess the relentless pursuit of career and status swept everything else to the sidelines. Pretend you’ve just been released from prison after 30 years—what looks interesting out there that can use your talents? Form a support group at the library for like-minded retirees. It’s like a great big do-over. Pick a new major and go for it.

Daryl, I love your comments! Today in retirement I still come across folks who can't chat in social settings without hauling out all of their career accomplishments. Many years ago I took a Covey course on Principled Centered Living which had a lot of impact on me. Those who center their entire life on career/job, family, church, sports, home, or hobby are more likely to be thrown off balance when there is a major change affecting that center. Everything in balance, just like eating! I love my post career life and all the new things I've tried and people I've met. I was very accomplished in my career, but some days I ask myself, "What did I actually do in my job?" It is nice to forget that as no one else cares in my new life.

Yes! And I think it’s ok to take a “gap year” like the kids do in order to wander around aimlessly pursuing anything that tickles your fancy. Set a time limit if you feel guilty, but get out there and try something new.

I feel blessed. About 30+ years ago i read a small article in a golf magazine about having a home in a golf community. It became a dream/obsession. About 5 years ago i seriously went to places that had golf. I did more research, what else is there, what is the weather like. I made my check list. The good news, i found a great place, the bad news, others come here when the weather gets bad where they have another home. More good news, the community is built out, so no more homes.
(Generally homes are available when someone dies and the remaining family decides to sell ) The bad news, or maybe good, is that half the year many people live elsewhere. The place i am in has 50% more people, now - 2018 ×than in 1980 what the whole Moore county, NC had, but I couldnt handle the humidity or winter in Pinehurst NC. (Unless i win a lottery to have a second home.)0 The world (my world) is getting smaller. Wish i could type in my wants in a computer, it took a lot to end up here - no, i am not saying where i am if you golf.