Category: Family and Retirement
October 30, 2024 -- A reader wrote in with this unusual request for advice. It is a very common conundrum for retirees - should they move across the country to live near their adult children? Or, retire where they had planned to, and see the kids when they have the time. We thought it a good idea to put the question to the Topretirements audience to benefit from their collective wisdom, so here goes.
The couple, who are nearing retirement, live in the Northeast. Their only child, a son, married last year lives in the Midwest. He and his wife are looking forward to having children in the next few years. This past spring the son surprised his parents by asking them to consider moving to be near them, in fact sharing a house. The idea was that the parents would put up the money to build an in-law apartment or ADU (Accessory Dwelling Unit), where the parents would then live.
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Published on October 29, 2024
Comments 14
Category: Family and Retirement
March 27, 2023 — If that is an unpleasant question, it certainly is. Less than half of Americans have discussed their end of life plans with a relative. The result of that inaction is incalculable trouble and work for those left behind. Like finding out that all your money is…
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Published on March 25, 2024
Comments 8
Category: Family and Retirement
February 23, 2023 -- One of the hottest acronyms in the real estate world is ADU, which stands for Accessory Dwelling Unit. Demographic shifts from Covid, exploding real estate prices, and a shortage of affordable places to live has suddenly put them in the spotlight, prompting more states and communities to encourage and approve them. Their rise is a bonus for retirees, who can benefit from them in a multitude of ways.
The idea behind ADUs is pretty simple.
ADUs provide a secondary building unit on one lot. So right off the bat they are less expensive - they don't require any extra land. They can take the form of a small detached building, a second floor, basement, or other addition to the main home, or a conversion of part or all of a garage into a small home or apartment. Typically they are between 600 and 1,000 sq. ft. They usually have a bedroom, small kitchen, bathroom, and living area. Or they are just a small studio apartment. Prefab models are available, or they can be custom built. Normally they have a separate entrance. An example of "gentle density, they are often called granny flats, in-law apartments, carriage houses, casitas, etc.
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Published on February 22, 2023
Comments 2
Category: Downsizing
Special Thanks to the author SW Hubbard (Susan) for this article, which was originally published on JungleRedWriters.com. It is the latest in our Downsizing/Decluttering/Ridding Out Series.
February 22, 2023 -- The writer Lucy Burdette asked SW if we are drawn to our profession because of our disposition, or does our disposition morph after years in the same profession? And more particularly, how does that relate to domestic relations chez Hubbard, now that you are both mostly retired?
SW Hubbard: As with any chicken-or-egg question, the answer is a little of both.
Most nurses are naturally compassionate, and I’ve never yet met a happy-go-lucky lawyer unconcerned with details.
But spending many years in one profession changes the way you view your personal life, and the skills you use in the office tend to come home with you to be rolled out on the home front.
Take my husband.
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Published on February 21, 2023
Comments 1
Category: Family and Retirement
November 2, 2022 - Thanks to everyone who took the time to take last week's instant poll on spousal compatibility around retirement decisions. The good news is that the vast majority of you all are either extremely compatible (25%) or mostly compatible (41%). Luckily, only a handful are extremely incompatible. Many of you added insightful comments to explain your particular situation, and offer lessons learned to others. We have incorporated some of those into this article, along with ones from previous articles. (see Further Reading below to see all of them).
The worst situation
The biggest problem is when two partners disagree on major issues about retirement. If they can't agree on when and where to retire, how much money to spend, how close to family, or what is the right climate, somebody might end up extremely unhappy. Let's hope that didn't happen to you. But if it does, here are some tips on how to make the best of it, along with some of the common pickles that couples find themselves in.
Get started early
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Published on November 1, 2022
Comments 1
Category: Family and Retirement
October 26, 2022 – The topic of spousal compatibility around retirement planning is an intriguing topic. We are not talking about how you and your spouse or partner get along day to day, but more specifically about retirement planning. Did you/do you have the same ideas about when and where…
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Published on October 25, 2022
Comments 13
Category: Family and Retirement
September 28, 2022-- As a follow up to our recent article, "There Might Be More Than One Kind of Home for You in Retirement", this one concentrates on the latter stage of retirement. What you will do when you are a little less active, and your abilities are not quite what they were in the beginning and middle phases of retirement? The idea for this started when the eldest sister in our family, approaching her 79th birthday, asked our relatives what they were planning for their late retirement years. We agree this is an important conversation to have, particularly with one's children and other family members. We hope that you will add your thoughts in the Comments section below, so we capture a wide range of opinions and plans.
The conversation started with this question:
We have no plans to sell our houses or to move, but it is certainly time for us to think about the future. With our children spread out, we could go many places. Our policy up to now has been, when we need help we will pick up and move close to one of our children. But I wonder if that might be too late. It’s hard for an older couple to make a big move, particularly if one is needy. Since both of our parents lived to a ripe old age (92 and 102) with most mental faculties intact, our genetics make it seem like we should be planning for the long term.
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Published on September 28, 2022
Comments 11
Category: Family and Retirement
April 7, 2022 - A few weeks ago I attended a concert by Ellis Delaney, a folk singer and songwriter with a lovely voice and inspiring lyrics. “You’re Royalty to Me” is one of her best songs, in my opinion. It is a tribute to her grandmother, her main source of support growing up. Ellis spoke about the great times they had together, playing cards and enjoying each other’s company, and most of all experiencing unconditional love. The song’s message gave me goosebumps, particularly from this line: “I am who I am because I was loved by a queen”. You can read the beautiful lyrics to the song here.
Wow, that song seemed like a direct message about our potential as grandparents. Sure, savoring the joy these kids bring to life can be pretty great. But this song is a message that grandparenting is bigger than just enjoying them. To me, it shows that if we can be a reliable source of unconditional love and support, we might make a difference in their lives, just like Ellis’s grandma did. That extends to supporting the parents, who face incredible pressures in trying to raise children in this age, even before Covid.
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Published on April 6, 2022
Comments 6
Category: Family and Retirement
August 24, 2021 -- The assumption has always been that you would bring up your children and they would go on to raise their own families. Empty nesting and retirement would follow for you, bringing relaxation and less stress. But for the 2.3 million baby boomers who are raising an estimated 2.7 million children, the days of child care are not over yet. These "Grandcarents" are often in need of "Grandfamily" Housing, and the economic and other pressures are usually enormous. This article will discuss some sources of help if this is the situation for you or someone you know.
The ways that older adults become responsible for young children vary. Often it can be pinned on a drug epidemic like crack or opiods. Adult children get hooked, have children of their own, and the grandparents or uncles and aunts have to step in to avoid foster care and neglect. In other cases there might be psychological problems, the inability to hold a job, or incarceration. The pandemic has contributed to the problem too. Whatever the cause, assuming responsibility for young children when you are in your 60s and 70s is a forbidding challenge. We even know some people in their 80s who are raising their great-grandchildren.
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Published on August 24, 2021
Comments 0
Category: Family and Retirement
November 14, 2020 -- Not surprisingly, occupancy rates at assisted living and independent living facilities are off 2.5% since March, according to data from the National Investment Center for Seniors Housing & Care. Rates in skilled nursing facilities are declining even sharper, they have declined by 12%. One big reason for the soft markets is fear of the coronavirus. After tens of thousands of nursing home residents died in the early phases of the pandemic, nervous relatives have been considering safer alternatives for their loved ones. It is estimated that 40% of Covid-related deaths occurred in long term care facilities (WSJ). Adding to the anxiety are rules where residents are usually not permitted to have visitors, or if they do, only for very short times and under restrictive conditions.
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Published on November 14, 2020
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