The Best Retirement Places for Singles
Category: Singles and Retirement
The best retirement places for singles: where are they?
Updated Nov. 2023. Note: This original article dates back to 2009 – wow! It has proved to be very popular over the years, especially because of the many interesting comments and observations by our Members. In preparing for this “re-release”, we contacted some of the folks who have commented and asked them for an update. They have been added as Comments at the end.
It makes sense that the search for the best retirement places for singles should use different criteria than those used by married couples.
Before you start your search, retirees should consider these factors for the best retirement places for singles:
- Bigger is better
- Town or active community
- Depends on what you do when you get there
- Look for places where there is a lot to do
- Find a community with an activity director
- Where do the most single seniors live?
- Look for a college town
What is the biggest concern about finding the best retirement places for singles
The most common, and certainly understandable, fear that single people have about retirement is that they will wind up in a community where most of the people are paired off. A retirement place where singles are at best ignored, at worst discriminated against. Fortunately with some careful planning and research you can find a retirement town or active adult community where single people are included and feel completely integrated in that lifestyle.
No compromise needed. On the other hand there is a common opinion that single people have the easiest time finding their best retirement community. That’s because, unlike a couple, they don’t have to compromise. When looking for the best retirement places for singles, you get to pick the retirement lifestyle, kinds of activities, and the types of people you want to pursue.
In researching this article we found some experts on the best singles retirement towns or communities. One of our favorite experts is Jan Cullinane, a frequent editorial contributor to this site and author of “The Single Woman’s Guide to Retirement“. In her book she solicited input from many single women about many different areas: divorce, death of a spouse, working from home, where to live, dating, caregiving, volunteering, reinvention, travel, and staying healthy.
1. In general, bigger communities are better for retired singles. Choosing too small of a community reduces the potential pool for both friends and dates. Smaller communities tend to have a more fixed social order, so they tend be harder to crack into than larger ones. That means that 55+ communities like The Villages, Fair Hope, Laguna Woods, and Sun City could be good choices.
2. Consider carefully the choice of a town vs. an active adult community. The environment for singles can be quite different in a town vs. a 55+ active adults community. A city or town will probably have more possibilities in terms of things to do and the people you meet than a development. Even if you are the kind of person who is very interested in the active adult lifestyle, you still might want to consider choosing your town before your 55+ community. By moving in stages you can put down some roots, make friends, and research local 55+ options. Then after you have evaluated the town and you know that you like it there, you can choose your active adult community based on a more informed investigation than you would make by charging in with no local knowledge.
3. Most of your success as a retired single person depends on what you do when you get there. Bella DePaulo, Ph.D, debunks a popular myth that single people are lonely in their old age. In fact, she finds that women who have never married tend to be the happiest people in retirement. The reason for this appears to be their successful strategies for making and keeping friends. Women (and men) who seek out activities and volunteer opportunities not only feel fulfilled, they make deep friendships along the way. Those who tend to be the loneliest are those who relied on work or spouses for social engagement, and don’t have deep friendships of their own. Men in particular are not good about forming strong friendships, and that hurts them as single people.
Whatever your previous success at making friends, that doesn’t necessarily have to be your future – if you work at it. One of our friends thought his father would be a lonely old man once his wife died. His dad had spent years taking care of our friend’s mother, and his dad didn’t seem to have any friends. Much to everyone’s pleasant surprise, in single life the dad is transformed. Now he volunteers at the hospital every day, travels, and has made tons of new friends.
4. Look for retirement towns and 55+ communities where there is a lot to do. This idea applies to both towns and active adult communities. The more activities and institutions there are, the greater your opportunities for making friends. Before you buy in an active adult community make sure there are activities that can stretch you in new directions, because taking up some new sports or crafts is a good way to make new friends. Big communities like The Villages have many singles clubs and activities where people don’t have to be in pairs.
5. Look for a 55+ community that has an activity director. We heartily endorse the recommendation to choose a community with an activity director. His or her job is to engage the residents with one another that will make your entry in the community that much easier.
6. College towns and cities can be ideal for retired singles. Both types of towns have plenty to do, which means that you can be out meeting people through many different activities – from taking adult education classes to volunteering to attending concerts. Small cities like Sarasota or Austin or Boulder have nice downtowns and there is always something to do.
7. Retired singles should stay away from the suburbs. You might live in the suburbs now. If you have a big web of friends, maybe you should stay. But cracking the suburban social scene as a new, single resident is one of the harder things to pull off.
8. Carefully evaluate the singles scene in any active adult community – before you buy. A really good idea is to rent before you buy. Attend the various club meetings and take part in some sports or other activities. Are there other singles, or do the couples actively invite single people to participate? Award extra points if there is an active singles club. Many communities have special package deals that let you vacation their at below market rates (and even if not announced, it is worth trying to negotiate your own package). Even before you go to a place, check out Discussion Forums to find out more about the single life there.
9. Think about moving with your retired friends. If you already have a solid group of close friends, think about retiring together. That could be as simple as moving to the same community or town, or it could even be shared housing. Some architects report that designing homes meant to be shared is a growing business. In addition to instant friends, being able to share resources as you get older is a real attraction.
10. Where do the most single seniors live? Big cities and urban areas like New York, Washington, and Chicago are loaded with seniors. In terms of retired people living in active communities, The Villages in Central Florida has the most, with huge singles clubs.
What do you think? Do you already live in a retirement community that you know is great for singles? Or one you know is not? Share your thoughts in the Comments section below. The most recent comments are shown at the end (Note: Housing prices have exploded since many of these comments were written).
For Further Reference:
Excellent discussion about being single in retirement at City-Data
Comments on "The Best Retirement Places for Singles"
Jan Cullinane, co-author The New Retirement: The Ultimate Guide to the Rest of Your LIfe (Rodale 2007) says:
Considering the economic vitality of an area is another suggestion - in case you may/will have to return to work or just for the vibrancy of the community or for re-sale. So, be sure to include job growth/availability in your list of priorities. A community that is growing is often a good bet for singles.
Jan Cullinane, co-author The New Retirement: The Ultimate Guide to the Rest of Your LIfe (Rodale 2007) says:
Meant to add an additional thought - some singles love the RV lifestyle - I interviewed a few of them for our book, and was told that people are very friendly and helpful. And, if you don't happen to like your neighbor, you can pick up and leave! There is even a site for single RVers, www.rvsingles.com.
says:
The Villages in Central Florida is a specific suggestion - several singles I interviewed moved to the Villages because it is single-friendly. Lots of activities targeted toward singles. Also, Del Webb's Sweetwater in Jacksonville - vibrant single's groups.
Jon says:
I'm getting divorced after 28 years of marriage at the age of 58. I can't bear the thought if sitting alone in a suburban house with no one to share life with. A senior community might be right for me, but somehow I think I should just look for clubs or other communities for now. If anyone knows about a community of active and welcoming 55+ singles, I would be interested.
Sharon says:
Jon: I'm sure you'll find the next stage of life to be exciting. I was widowed last year and have no interest in dating yet, but I certainly am concerned about having a network of friends in the future too. I really liked this article, and thought it was very encouraging. I work with a man who was widowed at 60, who now has an extremely active social life. He has met wonderful women using online dating services, although he acknowledges it can also be a lot of work. Some have become friends (he had initially posted that he was just looking for someone for coffee, movies or dinners), and he's had a few significant romances on his path to finding someone to share his retirement years with. His kids were not supportive when he started his journey, but have come around since he's happy and busy. He also reached out to former friends from high school and college using networking sites, and has reopened some old friendships. He joined a class, stays in touch with other family members and helps neighbors out whenever possible.
The 55+ communities are just one of many options for finding many people to share your new life. Based on my co-worker's experience, I'm optimistic that retiring as a single doesn't have to be lonely.
Julie says:
I have been looking at active 55 communities for over a year now and developments in general and am so let down. I feel that developers have not kept up with the times. They must think everyone plays some kind of court games, plays golfs or does crafts, all of which I have never done. I think they should build developments that include things you do in everyday life now, not a resort lifestyle and not a place to go play bingo. I'm thinking bike trails, dog parks, a beach, an outside café, a fire pit, small beachfront property. What a concept. Build it and they will come.
Linda says:
@Julie: for beach and beachfront property, think LOTS of money.
I personally have no interest in dog parks. I'd rather learn to play pickleball, which all my friends tell me is fun. I don't know where you're looking, but all the places I looked at had outside cafes and some had fire pits. If you wouldn't enjoy a resort lifestyle, an active 55 community may not be for you.
Elaine says:
Julie, Curious where have you been looking? The beachfront (if you mean ocean would be hard to find...at least in my price range. I have seen communities with most of the other things you mention...except expensive beach front property and enough property to have the biking trials on the beach.
If waterfront is okay, look at some of these
http://carolinaoceanliving.com/active_adult_communities.htm
If the beach can be a lake, look at some of the other top retirements blogs on retiring at lakes
would something like cresswind on lake Lanier...not a bathing beach, but you have your outdoor fireplace and perhaps can rent a kayak to find a bathing beach. Here are some of the amenities
Outdoor Kitchen & Fireplace
Outdoor Terrace
Outdoor Lagoon-Style Pool
Pickleball Court
Sport Court
Walking & Biking Trails
Outdoor Amphitheater
Overlook Pavilion with Cabana Bar
70 Slip Marina & Private Dock on Lake Lanier
Marina Gazebo & Grill
Janice says:
I'm very much outside the box so not sure where I fit in. I've been single for many years. I was burnt out struggling to support my family and as soon as they qualified they moved away and I became sick for many years with chronic fatigue. I genuinely thought I was waiting to die and 3 years ago my daughter suggested I move here to the U.S. to be near her. In the last year my health has improved to the extent that I have now given myself another ten years. So, the point I am making is....here I am in an over 55s condo, 20 miles from my daughter. She has gone back to college for 3 years taking an MA and she has an 11 year old child. She is so busy and my grandson plays many sports so is being run around all weekend. It is so difficult to make real friends at my age. I have joined many activities but everyone seems to have a routine. It doesn't help that the people where I live are mostly couples or they work. This winter has been
brutal and I watched so much TV. I'm not sure what to do next. I'm financially secure while I
have my family's backing to help me understand the systems. I must have made a lot of mistakes along the way.
Jaye says:
The Villages is a fabulous community with tons of activities - but the down side of that is that it is expensive to live there. With bonds and other fees adding up, it can get out of hand. I have read on other blogs about folks enjoying living there however, it is quite expensive. Anyone with any information about expenses at The Villages?
Robert says:
Been to the Villages twice to evaluate the possibility of living there. Over 70,000 people (?) with all kinds of activities. Just about anything in the area you could want including medical facilities.
More gulf carts than cars (main mode of transportation within) BUT as Seniors WE cannot afford it and in hindsight do not really know if we would want to live in a community THAT LARGE. VERY VERY EXPENSIVE.
Other than that - nice homes, and quite upbeat.
JR says:
To Jaye-- My experience, confirmed by local realtors, is that utilities, taxes, etc. amount to $1000 a month in addition to your mortgage. Most people shop in or very near The Villages and pay more for food, clothing, etc. than they would in other parts of Florida. So it is in many ways more expensive to live in The Villages than in comparable places.
Freddy says:
It is true, it will cost more to live in The Villages than many other places. What is not true is that other places are comparable, either in Florida or the world. Other places have a club house with a pool table and ping pong.. The Villages is opening a complete new Broadway theater along with Broadway entertainers. There are over 2,400 clubs, offering everything from Irish step dancing to dragon boat racing, scores of pools and golf courses and recreation centers that could pass for those in Ivy League campuses.
There is nothing comparable, the question then becomes can you afford to spend the rest of my life in what those who live there refer to as Disneyland for adults.
elaine says:
Janice,
I hope that spring brings more activity and joy into your life. I think that being in an over 55 condo should have helped, but I suggest that you continue to join in any activities that you enjoy. It is probably harder to intergrate into the community if it is established already...but being out and about is better than watching TV.
What did you move from? What area of the country are you living in?
Admin says:
This comment came in from Bart:
The Villages in Florida is a great place for most folks. You can find numerous homes in the $125-200K range. The monthly amenity fee of $147 covers free golf on 33 executive courses; 365 night a year of free, live entertainment at three different town squares; 2400 different clubs and activities; 32 recreation centers; 11 softball fields; and 75 swimming pools. There is literally "something for everyone" to enjoy. It is a particularly good place for singles with so many activities.
Admin says:
This just in:
The Village was the fastest growing census-designated statistical are in the country in 2014 - 5.4 percent, compared with 0.7 percent for the nation as a whole. Many of the other fastest growing areas were also in Florida, including Florida http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/27/upshot/the-giant-retirement-community-that-explains-where-americans-are-moving.html?_r=0&abt=0002&abg=1
Joy says:
With 70,000 people living in the Villiages why is it so hard to find a short term rental ? I want to buy within a year but would like to spend enough time first to see if it is a place I feel is a good fit. I have been on every website including craigslist, open to house sitting while a home is on the market ( I am licensed in Mi although not active. I do know how to stage a home to sell quickly, plus, a home that is not vacant sells faster and at a higher sales price.
Any ideas on how to find a affordable place for mid- end on Jan- March???
Thank you!
Joy
Joysell@aol.com
Roberta says:
Looking to move from the Atlanta suburbs...just too busy. I am a widowed, 71 year old. Would like to move either closer to the mountains or closer to the ocean. Looking at: Fairhope, Ala, possibly the Wilmington, NC area.....possibly the Beaufort area and also St. Mary's , GA. Have looked some in the GA mountains...but most of the communities seem more suitable for couples...and I am not seeing those single story, low maintenance homes that I would prefer.
I must admit I am a bit apprehensive about moving to a place where I know no one. I am looking for tranquility...but also opportunity for things to do...and the opportunity to make new friends is very important. Does not need to be an over 55 community....but does need to be a tranquil, low crime,area with social opportunities for seniors.
Any suggestions?
huntley says:
Hey Roberta,
Here in the Triangle NC (Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill) there is a lot to offer boomer gen's and other age groups places to connect socially as singles. Here is one great option, http://www.silverconnections.org/ Silver Connections is only for singles and it is not a dating service, it is designed to help widows and/or singles above age 55 have a group to hang out with and do things together. Everything they do is optional, but they do activities regularly like eat out monthly, take tours and trips together, purposely providing a lot of activities to provide social gatherings to build friendships, foster relationships to support one another. Check it out. In addition, the Triangle region of NC has a very diverse demographics, culture, available activities, whether sports, arts, life long learning education opportunities, outdoor activities, festivals, great restaurants, the list goes on and on. I specialize in helping people downsizing to right size and/or helping people who are interested in moving to the Triangle to retire. If you have questions about this area, let me know I will do my best to answer.
There may be other groups in other cities or areas around the country like Silver Connections, but I don't think there are many, especially as successful as this one here in the Triangle. Of course I may be bias :-)
Hope this helps.
Hunt
Fay Kennedy says:
I'm an active single person with many interests .....favorite places must be a town/small city with diverse fitness activities (rec centers, pools, running and walking trains, must be pet-friendly, has to have a great library system, changeable seasons, close proximity to my favorite food sources (i.e. Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Wegman's and Fresh Market + Gelson's and Bristol Farms) .... I haven't found my 'perfect' place as yet, but high on my list of places I love to spend time in (i.e. short time rentals) are Virginia Beach VA, Palm Springs CA, Charlottesville, VA and Tarpon Springs FL. I love the climate(s) in each of these places in specific times of the year and I find that each place has special features that are very energizing as well as close proximity to colleges and universities which provide continuous lecture series and life-long learning opportunities.........I also love New York State (especially the Hudson Valley/Dutchess County along the Hudson River) as well as the Poconos in Pennsylvania around Lake Wallenpaupak/Hawley/Milford PA areas.............. Also recommend you read Melody Warnick's book titled 'This Is Where You Belong' .... this book has been selected to be one of the BEST BOOKS FOR A BETTER LIFE AWARDS in 2016 and I have found it to be a valuable resource......be well ---- from Fay
Stacey says:
Roberta, have you checked out Athens, GA? That's where I'll be headed eventually. You have the University of GA that has the OSHA program for seniors. A university town always has many options. If you live a few miles from the University, the environment should be more tranquil. The downtown is sweet with small shops and good restaurants. You are not that far so checking the place out should be fairly easy for you.
Sue says:
Stacey,
I have just started checking out potential spots, and Athens sounds interesting...
BUT it has a "F" in crime on Areavibes.
I haven't been there yet, but am wondering if the crime really rates an "F"???
Sue
Roberta says:
Stacey...quite familiar with Athens..it is only two hours away...very much a UGA town...crime is quite prevalent......lots of traffic when there is a UGA game....all in all not to my liking....I want to get closer to the mountains or beaches.
I have some friends from here ( Lilburn) who moved to Athens..but they are very much into the football culture...like the college environment......etc. Not for me....but thanks for the suggestion.
Looking for that quiet seaside or mountain town with the right kind of housing for me...little crime.....little traffic...that would still be stimulating enough. Fairhope , Ala is very impressive..but not sure I want all that humidity in summer.....I MIGHT prefer the climate closer to Wilmington, NC........decisions, decisions....just a question of spending some time....just needs to FEEL RIGHT.
Roberta says:
Huntley...thanks for the tip on Silver Connections
Moderator Flo says:
Hi Stacey
Have you read my article on North Carolina? It mentions several small towns on the coast not too far from Wilmington.
It might be helpful. Happy searching!!!' It's a scary but exciting time.
huntley says:
Thanks Roberta...
Fay, the Triangle NC (Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill) has everyone of those attributes on your list and more, UNC and NC State have an awesome OSHA program as well. Comfortably located in the middle of the state with a little over 1.5 hrs to the beach and about 3 hrs to the mountains :-) 8 hours drive to the Big Apple with much to tour in between and beyond and 7 hours to the Florida boarder so if you are seeking balance and as much to do in order to have a well rounded active lifestyle, the Triangle is the place, again :-). RDU is an international airport with very good rates from here to wherever. Can you tell I LOVE this place!
There are four very distinct seasons with about 2 weeks or freezing or around freezing temps in winter and 3-4 weeks of 90's+ heat in the summer, other than those times spring and fall are probably as good as it gets!
Please come visit.
Best to all, Hunt
huntley says:
Also, Fay, I am going to order Melody Warnick’s book titled ‘This Is Where You Belong’ now and Flo, I am going to dig up your input about NC, and YES, scary but very exciting times, the boomer gen's are going to revolutionize retirement years :-)
Hunt
Linda says:
Roberta, I think you will find Wilmington, NC to be quite humid in the summer. Just about any place in the south will be, unless you're in the mountains. Shoot--Minnesota was humid in the summer! If you require low or no humidity, you should probably look at the western half of the country.
Stacey says:
Sue, I come from NYC and I doubt the crime rate in Athens would be higher than here. However, I've been there a few times and haven't felt any danger around me. I think some areas are probably safer than others. But honestly I haven't felt any fear while walking around.
FayK says:
from FayK to Huntley ....... THANK YOU for your valid comments - I worked in Raleigh for a few years and loved everything about it but the TRAFFIC congestion around RTP - I also loved Durham and Greensboro and the close proximity to the beaches in NC - so your beloved state of North Carolina is still on my list. I also explored a TINY HOUSE Community in Flat Rock NC which had an appeal to me and also totally loved attending a conference at the KANUGA Conference Center in Hendersonville NC which I thought was also a special place .... There is no question that NC has a lot going for it......I have been staying up-to-date with some of the political challenges going on in NC - but every state seems to have issues of some sort or other ..... My focus is on ensuring the place that I 'land' is ethnically diverse and offers lots of farmers markets and a great climate and clean environment ....... I agree with you that the colleges and universities in the NC and the RTP area as well as the medical centers cannot be beat. Thanks again for your comments......I value them......Blessings from Fay .
Roberta says:
Sue....Athens crime...nothing like NYC......nothing like Atlanta ...I do not feel threatened walking around town......however , there is more than a fair amount of crime. I am sure there is some way you can check the numbers.
When I first moved to GA....I believe Athens was #1 or #2 in the state for rape.......fair number of murders, burglaries and break ins. While there are a number of old historic homes....there is also a very poor and high crime part of town....projects etc.....remember UGA is a very big party school...this spills over to most if not all the establishments in town ...and at time contributes to the crime rate.
One of the main reasons I would like to leave Atlanta is the crime...which has now spilled out to the suburbs...so I am looking to move somewhere that is almost crime free...but I do know those that have moved to Athens and like it very much...so just depends on the environment you are looking for.
Sue says:
Thanks Roberta for your comments. There are several sites that you can check crime rates for an area. One I like to use is www.areavibes.com . They rate Athens an "F" on crime, so that is not a good indicator....that is one of the most important factors to me.
I live in a far northern suburb of Chicago where the crime is virtually non existent. Of course our taxes are HUGE, and looking for that perfect spot where the cost of living is much lower, but crime is also low....and winter isn't 6 months of the year!!! :)
Shumidog says:
I know Trulia has the crime for the area, with the individual crimes listed, down in the listing as a graphic. I don't know where they get the info. Maybe someone else does.
Clyde says:
The overall crime rate for a city ouf area can sometimes be misleading. There may be some parts of a city with significant rates of crime, while other areas are much more limited. It can sometimes help to talk with local law enforcement authorities.
Bubbajog says:
Within the vicinity of any very large university such as UGA in Athens; you will have a lot of property crime. There are the fraternities and sororities providing plenty of partying, a lot of noise, and overall general disturbances. And then late Friday and Saturday nights you have all the drunken fights breaking out. Hell, those were the good old days. Nothing but great memories. LOL!!!
Jean says:
Great points in the article and not just for singles. Another hint is to check meetup.com for the area you are moving. people set up meetups for a variety of interests and demographic groups. And if there is t a meetup you find interesting, start one! In the area i live there are meetups for single senior, single golfers, crafters, walkers, transplants from different areas, vegetarians, the lists is extensive!
Jeanne says:
Huntley, Thanks for the information about the Raleigh, Durham area. I am looking to retire this summer and am looking for where to move. With children on both coasts and no desire to tolerate Minnesota winters anymore, I, as a widow, need an active, engaging, accepting of singles and transplants community. I will definitely check out the Research Triangle.
Rich says:
Ms Sue: From yours on Mr Brady’s site, you posted on April 11, 2017 … excellent link. Compliments. A very informative tool. Regards
Connie says:
I have been looking for a 55+ community for singles, with condos , townhomes reasonably priced. and lots of activities, travel, art classes, ceramics, not far from beach, dancing. dinners. The Villages is too expensive.
ANY SUCH PLACE.?
Brenda Voorhees says:
Connie-I live in Gulfport Florida which is right outside the Saint Petersburg city line. I am in the community of Town Shores which is 55+. You might like this area. I would be more than willing to share information about this community. PS I also have a condo there for sale. Not sure how this website goes about connecting people.
LisaJ says:
Brenda Voorhees Hi Brenda, we looked at Town Shores but, I didn’t like that they don’t have outdoor space (meaning no lanai). However, that is not a total deal breaker and I would like to hear more about the activities there. Also, why are you selling?
Maimi says:
I am wondering what is considered a “reasonable price” for a single person. I know I have to downsize soon from my 3 br townhouse. It is just too big for me to keep up with and I really don’t need it. I live in New England by the ocean and the cost if living is high, mostly due to property taxes. Being single, I feel that I need to stay close to family and top medical facilities, but I know I can’t work forever and I just want a basis of comparison. My condo fee alone is 750. per month and property taxes are about 6k/ year. I don’t use the amenities here at all anymore and don’t need to pay that much in condo fees.
Clyde says:
Miami, What general area in New England do you want to stay in to be close to your family? As you I’m sure know, prices vary significantly depending on location l
Jennifer says:
What is "reasonable" for a single person must include where in the country you choose to live and the cost of living and amenities there. It then must include how much you want or can choose to spend individually within any given locale of your choice. Any realtor or a bit of research can tell you if you are paying the going rate for your area. I live in a co-op in NW Washington, DC and the prices here are very different from other areas of the country. We just got refund checks for up to 50% of Real Estate taxes paid for 2018, so that has helped a lot. One must be 65 or over to qualify and I just made the deadline this year. Will I stay here? Time will tell. Walkability is a big plus here and great medical care in spite of all the expenses and lots of free activities too. It is a stimulating area and one will not be bored with access to transportation if one does not want to drive or be chained to a car in old age. Lots of things to weigh in on.
Lynne says:
Hi Everyone. I would like to know if anyone knows of communities for over 55+ singles in Michigan. Am on a fixed income and am looking to downsize. I found one community that looked lovely, although very expensive, in Ann Arbor. But discovered you had to be an alumni of a college to qualify. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Brenda Voorhees says:
This is for Connie-as soon as my condo sells I will be moving to Beaufort SC. I thought I would like living in a larger metropolitan area and find I am more of a small-town gal. Plus Florida is too hot for me in the summer. Beaufort SC was always my first choice and I am going to honor that. You can reach out to me at Bvoorhees54@yahoo.com.
there are so many activities at Town Shores, pickle ball is a big thing as is bocce. You are 6 miles from downtown Saint Petersburg. Town Shores has a book club, yoga classes, billiards, card playing groups; shuffleboard and art group. That’s just a few of the things available here
Lynne says:
Thank you, Moderator Flo!!!! Lots of great ideas to explore. Love Topretirements!!!
Trina says:
I bought a home in a brand new community in Olympia, WA. It is a 55 plus community and they are still building there, I was there less than a month and problems started. There were widow's who did not like me as a single person because I am a retired career person. I bought the house and moved after a car accident and was in a neck brace and walker still and was healing at the time. I went to my first meeting in the community and was adjusting my neck brace very quietly because it had shifted, the person having the meeting stopped the meeting and very rudely said " are you ok?" I was shocked, I have never been treated that rudely before. They also had a handyman that was suppose to fix the items that were on the builders warranty for 1 year, this guy did not know what he was doing and would argue with you about it. I was not getting hot water to my bathtub which I new was a restrictor that need to be replaced. I had been a plumber myself for a few years, but this guy really had an issue with women. So between the rude widows, the rude person leading the meeting and the handyman and gossip that was starting. I sold my house after about 6 months and lost money to get out of there. Oh and when I bought it they said there would be a pool and a large community gathering place and a larger gym. There was no pool a very small club house and the large one they say they are building has gotten put off but yet they are charging due's for the pool and large facility that does not exist and I wonder when and if it ever will. This place also has been sold 3 times that I know of. So really be careful
Louise says:
Trina, you definitely were in a sticky situation and it sounds like a really messed up place. Sometimes you have to cut your losses to get out of a bad situation. I once bought a brand new car and right away had problems with the sun roof leaking. Brought it to the dealership several times and they never fixed it even though it was under warranty. They finally told me to leave it with them and gave me a loaner. It was a junk heap of a station wagon. So here I am, making payments on a brand new car and am driving around in 10 year old heap! About a month or so goes by and I still didn't have my car back after calling them dozens of times. They finally had some factory guy come out and they replaced the whole sunroof. I finally got the car back after about 6 weeks and within a weeks time, the sunroof leaked again. That was it. I traded it in and bought another car. Lost a lot of money but I was tired of that disaster.
Patricia McDougall says:
Such incredibly dated information, with a pandemic in between then and now, making us more isolated and in a hurry to find a place to hole up if we were traveling and exploring retirement communities. Real estate market changed considerably also. Has Jan C. updated her book for singles retirement? Where can we access more current information? I've tried FB groups and they aren't much help. Sooo many single women with nominal budgets.
Admin says:
Some of the comments on this perennial topic might have been made a long time ago, but they are still relevant. The advice from so many is evergreen. Jan's book counts in that category, it has some great advice.
Stevo says:
Being a recently retired single male, I’m interested in knowing where all these retired women go so keep the comments coming! It’s so hard trying to find a quality relationship @ 65yo in the general community. It would be nice to be in an environment where there is a large group of similar aged single women but I’m not a fan of Florida… ?
Jennifer says:
You may think the old comments are relevant, however, I would like to know where these single people eventually ended up and where are the best places NOW AND TODAY. The older posts make for fun reading but I do question the relevance of some issues in 2023. I come here to get updated, not old, information. Many of the retirement destinations may have changed for one thing as well as the type of housing for singles. Walkability is very important and has that been improving anywhere? How are the builders accommodating singles in 2023/2024?
JoannC says:
I am mostly committed to staying on the west coast and for the most part, the affordable 55+ communities I've looked at online are so far away from things - towns, hospitals/doctors, vets, museums, shopping, local colleges. I did consider Trilogy at Redmond Ridge in Redmond, WA because I used to live nearby, but then checked the nearest hospital - over half an hour away (and forget finding a nearby vet). Same with many other communities. Rossmoor in Walnut Creek is high on my list, but the HOA fees are exorbitant - some of the condos have HOA fees of more than $1000 a month. I also agree with staying out of the suburbs, even though I've lived in the suburbs all my life. On a recent trip to Nice, where I stayed in an apartment in the center, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed being able to walk to everything - shopping, the pharmacy, the doctor's office, local meetups - and it completely changed my thinking about where and how I want to live.
Patricia McDougall says:
JoannC: Nice is wonderful, and not only a walking city, but a warm destination, on the water. I've been considering it for a retirement destination, and was there last in 2019, just prior to the pandemic rearing its head. Would be more fun to try it with someone like-minded. Haven't researched it so not sure it would be affordable; I stayed in a hotel on the water so did not experience the local economy. Did you by any chance?
JoannC says:
Patricia McDougall - I was in Nice to check it out as a retirement landing spot! A high school classmate of my sister’s lives there and wanted to show me the city and surrounding area but I developed Covid my second day there so spent two weeks in isolation so hardly saw anything at all. It just means I need to go back. I’d love to get in touch directly to chat about it with you off-site. If you’re interested perhaps you can ask John to give you my email address.
Admin says:
An update from Brenda V, who has commented extensively in the past on this subject:
Funny you should ask…. In the spring of 2024 I will be making another move-back to the Finger Lakes area of New York where I came from. What I have found is that the south is a wonderful place to visit when it’s cold up north. Unfortunately, my body cannot adjust to the god awful heat and humidity that are summers here in the south. The idea of bring stuck inside, in air conditioning, July, August, and September does not sit right with me.
Although I do not like the cold, the temperatures of over 90° for three months solid are more than I can stand. I have no regrets about my time living in the south. I needed to experience my dream. Even though I made many visits to Beaufort, South Carolina, and it was indeed my dream town for many factors, it no longer is. Beaufort, South Carolina has experienced rapid growth, for a small town. The traffic is terrible. With the rapid growth, there’s a lack of infrastructure. I also didn’t realize how much I don’t want to live in the path of a hurricane. Lessons learned. Another thing that I discovered was I really missed the people back home. I had several friends pass away and was not able to go back to attend their funerals or be there for them. That was heartbreaking to me. I’ve met good people in both areas where I’ve lived. Another thing to consider is the landscape. Although I love the marsh land, I miss the rolling hills of New York. I’m really tired of palm trees. There are some things you just can’t know until you become a full-time resident!
Editor comment: Thanks for the interesting update!
Admin says:
An update from Connie to her previous Comments:
Before I would consider buying, I am interested in a rental, maybe for two weeks to get the feel of the Community..
Sally says:
Having lived all over the country, 2 weeks may be a window into some information, but you truly have to experience extreme prolonged humidity, hurricanes, earthquakes or 3 feet of snow before you can really decide if it's something you can live with. I have not found the perfect place yet, still looking!! I am starting to think that where you FEEL most at home is as individual as each of our hearts and minds.
Jennifer says:
I agree with Sally. Two weeks is not nearly enough time to see if one would like a certain location that they may have in mind. I, too have been looking for the perfect place for me and it may be right here where I am now. I am in a walkable location and a good hospital in within three miles or a bit less. I have lots of stimulation with interesting people. The rub is that it is very expensive here, I will see how it all works out. I am patient in my search, still in my sixties, however, I know I may need to take the plunge eventually....or not. Most of us want a Utopia customized to our needs, it is a very hard search.
Shumidog says:
Years ago I visited California, I'm east coast all of my life, and saw all of that 'dead' grass. I knew, right then, it was a great place, but I couldn't get used to the Golden part of the Golden State. I needed the green of the east, and had to deal with the humidity. I looked at Washington and Oregon, but it was out of my price range.
Jes says:
Brenda V., I left the Finger Lakes region of New York to move to Beaufort, SC. You are right, it is awfully hot down here. But unlike you, I just cannot take the winters up north. They are far too long and far too cloudy. I love the sun down here for the 8 months or so when the weather is lovely. I do just the opposite now: live in the south and spend part of the summers in the north. Upstate NY has gotten so expensive and the south still seems more affordable. I do miss my friends, I agree with you on that point, as well. I do plan to move to an area that has more culture and entertainment; Beaufort is too small and provincial for me. I think it is very beautiful though. It makes me laugh to think that you're tired of palm trees! Best of luck to you.
Yolande says:
This turned out to be a great article! Exactly where my head has been for months. I'm struggling to find a place to fit in with a great singles crowd. The 55+ are way too expensive in many cases, full of couples, I refuse to spend $400K+ on a house in those communities that's too far from civilization. I don't like the ultra rural settings. I'm dealing with that now & it's a hard life.
I'm considering Charleston & Myrtle Beach SC suburbs, all ages (again). I need to be 30 mins. in good traffic from the beach since I can't afford to live on it. I'm heeding what Brenda V. said because I have been concerned about the storm paths too. I've dealt with Earthquakes, fires, droughts, floods, tornadoes, extreme dry heat, high winds, intense cold with lots of snow & rain in 42 yrs. of relocating. I'm looking for that proverbial sweet spot if it exists, mild temps, more green, would love a little chill in the air so I can wear my winter garb still, not a lot of snow, need humidity again because my sinuses, hair & skin are taking a massive beating in the desert & miss eating quality varieties of seafood. You don't get quality seafood or variety in the desert. It has to be trucked in & is not a huge selection due to that.
I can get more house for the $$ in the SE & get in areas that are not in Timbuktu like most 55+. Where I live now it's considered a retirement town, is in Timbuktu, tons of golf courses, hiking, biking etc. None of that interests me. I love the arts, beaches, water that's what's missing in my entertainment options now. Most of the people that live here are 70+ & can barely walk a dog. Yet all of the communities whether apartments or homes say "active adult". You visit them & it looks more like assisted living. For singles it's very hard to find the right fit in a town/city/55+. I'm not big on college towns, I do live in one now. The liberal stance is off putting. Thankfully the ones in my town are not doing crazy stuff like you see on TV. They take their futures very seriously, which is nice to see.
I love the ballet & opera. The nearest place for me to go for it is 300+ miles away. So I have to fly or take a tour bus. As it stands I'll be spending Christmas weekend 300+ miles away just to see the Nutcracker which I love, alone. I don't wait around for others to decide what they want to do, I just make plans & go. I prefer company but it is what it is. I either go alone or miss out. It's hard to find people that like ballet & opera or that can sit through them.
I love Brenda V. comments, made me LOL about the Palm Trees & heat. You think SC is hot, my temps average 100+ for 3-6 mos., the sun is burning hot. If it's too hot to go out in the humid SE summers, the desert is worse, the heat remains even at nightfall well above 90. Most times it stays at 100+ just no sun. Winter is my fav, it gets as cold as 20, no snow only in the mountains. I have tons of high beautiful mountains, zero water & no real green. It's red, brown & smidge of green, still beautiful but I long for green grass & blue water & ocean breezes.
I miss the ocean & really want to go back to an ocean state & an affordable place where I can own again. I'm not big on renting but what everyone said about renting to do research before buying is true. You don't get the lay of the land with short term rentals. You need to spend 30-60 days there if your life style permits. Mine doesn't, I work & don't want to give that up any time soon. I don't want to be out west anymore, it's way too expensive. Time for a change.
FL seems to be a really hot spot but I'm not sold. Too expensive & over crowded. I looked at the Villages but didn't like the homes. I thought they were too builder grade boring, blah & pricey boxes with no character. I prefer a great 55+ that has far more 55-67 age group. Del Webb builds on 1,000s of acres & too far out. Most 55+ do that due to the amount of land needed for amenities etc. I live in a 62+ "active adult" apartment complex, it's more like assisted living! The majority are 70+, can barely walk a dog, the single men hole up in their units refusing to socialize, there are limited single women, mostly widowed grand Moms & my friend pool here is at zero. I'm bored as hell & it's time to leave!
I planned a trip to SC in late January after a business trip I need to make. I'll be there a few days & want to see if I like the feel of it, find out about the storms, talk to natives & transplants to get a full perspective on what life would be like for me there. I will not move any where that does not have quality ballet, opera, beaches & great restaurants again. Weather is a trade off no matter where you go. You're going to deal with something, it's just what can you tolerate. Where I live now I have none of that. I stopped eating out because of it. Every transplant that's moved here like me said the same.
Thank you to everyone for your comments. I enjoyed reading them & am happy to know that I'm not alone in this struggle as a single to find a great place to live out my life. This will be relocation #8. I want to be able to call wherever that is "home". I've been a Nomad for 40+ years. Time to break that cycle. I'm going to send this article to a neighbor who is single. I would love to live where I can meet both single women to establish friendships where we meet up & do things, & men to open up companionship opportunities. I love the suggestion to move but not buy in a 55+ right away. I would not have thought to do that but it makes a lot of sense. Merry Christmas everyone, may 2024 hold that perfect place for all of us & keep commenting! It's helping people whether you think it is or not.